Do you ever fear the ambiguity of the road ahead of you? Do you ever feel like you will never be anything more than what you are right now, in this very moment? Are you ever scared that life will leave you in obscurity, never to be a name known or to make your mark on history? I do, at times. "We only have one life to live" we are told time and time again. How will we chose to live?
I have many friends who do not share my conviction about staying home and learning to manage a household before marriage who respect my decision and even encourage me in what I am doing. But there are those few who don't know what to think. Sometimes when people ask, "You still live with your parents, you're not going to school and you only teach piano two days out of the week? What do you do all day?" several unprofitable answers come to mind:
(sarcastically)" I sit on the couch and eat pastries, watching television, while my mom cleans and cooks and takes care of Ethan."
(importantly) "What do I DO all day? Well, let me tell you......" and proceed to list of every duty that befalls to me.
(stupidly) "Well, I....um...I think...er..."ect.
(angrily) "What do you THINK I do all day?"
Each one of those answers is selfish and prideful. I want to be able to answer in humility, without bragging or exaggerating, but clearly and articulately what it is I do at home and why I am there rather than teaching in a school or a music store or any other place. So, I am attempting to study scripture in order that I have an answer for my convictions. I may decide to post some of my findings here, I'm not sure.
But one thing I do know: Jesus never sought greatness (He didn't need to, because He is God) or fame or luxury. He often spent time with the unimportant. He picked average men to be His disciples. He exuded humility from His lowly birth to His inglorious death on a criminal's cross. Why is it that I need to have renown? It should be enough for me to do my small duties with fervor out of great love for Him and to play to my Audience of One.
Let us long for the "well done, good and faithful servant" from our Creator, rather than the applause of the mere creatures.