What's in a Name?

Ecstasy (n)- 2. Excessive joy; rapture; a degree of delight that arrests the whole mind; joy may rise to ecstasy. (Websters 1828 Dictionary)
Doldrums (n)- A sate of inactivity or stagnation.(Dictionary.com)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Unrealistic Expectations?

It occurred to me a little while ago that I was creating, in my own mind, unrealistic expectations of the guys around me. I was expecting super-human men who would be beyond perfect rather than humble, sinful creatures just like me. I'm not saying it's bad to expect good things of your brothers-in-Christ and look for godly character traits in a husband, but I am saying it is wrong to put fantasy-based expectations on them.

From my first encounter with Mr. Darcy I thought I had discovered something incredible. A nearly-perfect type of man. I began to look for him in the faces and actions of my brothers- not in romantic ways necessarily, but just in the ways they treated me and the girls around them. I expected them to be like a fictional character created over 200 years ago. That is completely unfair to them! It is also self-centered of me. We need to step away from the fictional man ideal that is just as bad as men's physically perfect woman. It is our job to encourage men to godliness. In comparing them to unreal men, we are doing just the opposite- discouraging them.

If you're at all into the Twilight books or the movie that hit the box office this weekend, or even if you know someone who watches/reads them, please check this article out:

It is a must read for Christian ladies young and old. I was convicted by reading it and I've never even picked up the books or watched the trailer to the movies.

In the past few years, as I've encountered godly marriages and spoke to wives, I've thrown away my dreams of Mr. Darcy (actually, I'm just using him as an archetype, he's not even my favorite Austen hero). I've realized that we don't want men that are madly in love with us enough to think of us every waking moment and bring us flowers and whisper sweet nothings in our ears. That's idolatry and it's a sin! What we do want is men who are putting Christ first in their lives, admitting their sin and treating us with purity and respect, but not worship!

Check out the article and let me know your thoughts! 


Laura said...

Just a heads up -- the link didn't work, but I found the article by searching the website:


And wow. There are multiple girls in my teen group that have seen the movies and read the books over and over again... I had just assumed it was the new thing, like Lord of The Rings.

I saw the first movie, and while it stayed in my mind for a while it seemed to be kind of mediocre, and after thinking about it I figured out why: There was no reason he loved her. In the movie he smelled her and BANG! He was hooked. I hear the book has some more depth to it, but it seemed unrealistic to me.

It never occurred to me that the others who were obsessed were idolizing it.

Thank you for sharing that.

Amanda said...

Thanks for sharing, Laura. It's always good to take a step back and analyze the things that entertain us. Thanks for letting me know about the link too- it should be fixed now! : )

john said...

I must admit, I'm not one of those superguys {tho sometimes I wish I was}and neither am I humble, but next Sunday I will dress up in 19th century costume if you want {just joking}.

Amanda said...

I'd love it if you dressed up, John-Boy! That'd be super! : )

Jenna said...

wow manda! thank you for sharing that! very powerful!